There is a lot of things we cannot control in life such as the time passing by, your health, your relationships.... This is, most of the time, an issue for us, to see that things are out of our control but fortunately for us there are many things we can control and instead of focusing on the unpredictable why not look at the things we are in control of.
I have listed the 10 things we can control:
1. Decide whether it affects you or not
This is for me one of the most powerful thing we have and it's to decide whether or not a certain situation is going to affect us. Every bad thing we can experience will affect us BUT it is in our power to decide to what extent is this going to impact our lives. It can be an accumulation of bad news, bad times, bad results, bad judgment on your behalf anything. But to deal with the situation, you basically have 2 options:
A. You can let it affect you to a point where you can lose focus, motivation, hope and create some self-doubt and lose your self-esteem. By letting this situation affect your mood, you can enter a vicious circle, where you can lose your way and forget about what you used to like and all the positive things you have in your life.
B. OR, you can decide to take a step back, control your feelings and to coldly analyze the situation. This will allow you to relativize, find an alternative to the problem or to take a real hand on the situation.
Life is tough, and you just can't let every bad moment affect you because otherwise you will never see the end of it. Use it as a strength, and use plan B in order to always move forward and grow up stronger. You can face everything, you just have to want it.
2. Catch your dreams
Dreams are what make us alive and you have the capacity to make everything that is in your power to reach them. Whether it's a dream job, a trip you want to do, a project you want to start, you are the only person that stands between you and your dream. Be positive, work hard and make it happen. And very important, be fearless, because fear kills more dreams than failure ever will. We fear to fail, to be judge, to take risks, but it can't stop you to accomplish things. So, hand on, don't lose focus on your dream, and keep going to matter what. There will be ups and downs, maybe people on your way, but we don't quite just because it's hard.
3. Your kindness
I know for a fact, that what you give, always comes back. You can decide how you want to treat people and how you want people to see you. Your attitude is something you are in control of: you can decide how generous, thoughtful, kind, responsive you want to be. Do good, and good will come to you."People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou
4. The way you want to start up again after a failure
Success is not final, and failure is not fatal. Everyone fails, what makes the difference between you and another person, is your ability to start up again and learn after a failure. No matter what you do, there will be obstacles on your way, a lot, but this is how we learn. You just have to remember that the hardest things in life are often the most worthwhile. We say that difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations right? So, when you fail, it only means that you are on the right path, so keep going.
5. The way you treat yourself
You are in control of how you want to treat yourself mentally and physically. If you want to be surrounded by good people, that are lifting you higher you-can-do-that. If you want to lose or gain weight, eat more healthy, change your appearance, you-can-do-that-too. You just have to be aware of your capacity to treat yourself, to be motivated to do so, and to take real actions. That's it! When you think about it, it is quite satisfying to know that the only person on your way, is again, you. Believe in your ability to change and improve yourself.
6. How much time you spend to reassess on the past
We all been through hard times, and moment we wish we could change or forget. Of course, we can't go back on the past, but we can control how much time we want to spend to reassess on it. In order to stop thinking about it, make yourself a reason and just move forward. "Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be". It's like a book, you move on pages to pages, well life is the same thing and every experience is a page you will eventually have to turn. So, stop thinking about those moments of your life and live the present while looking at your future.
7. To be proactive or not
This one completes the point about "catching your dream" and "start up again after a failure." Whether it is in your personal life or at work you can decide how much you want to be proactive. "Either you run the day or the day runs you". This is kind of my point. They are things in life, where you can be the "man in control": you can be proactive, by taking initiatives, do the things right now, getting the information you need, asking people. You can decide (quite often) how you want to live the situation. Do you want to be actor or spectator? There is no right answer because it can depend. But know what's best for you and go for it.
8. How reliable you are
You can decide how much you want to be reliable. You are in control of your punctuality, your loyalty, your goodwill, your helpfulness. I'm not saying that in an utopic way, where you need to be all of that with everyone. But, regarding your closest friends and family, you can decide which person you want to be.
9. How you can let stress overcomes you
It can sound a bit weird, because stress is something we don't always have a control on, but by anticipating it, we can manage it. Everything depends on how you visualize the stressful situation. You can control stress by anticipating and by knowing what really is in stake. If you anticipate, you won't be cut short ( or less). And if you can have a first hand on the situation, you will rebound if necessary. Try to live those stressful situations coldly in order not to be overwhelmed by your emotions.
10. If you decide or not to be influenced
Finally, you can also decide if you want to be influenced by people or not. You have to distinguish what you want to do and what people would want you to do. It's easy to let yourself caught into certain situations, or state of mind,but you can follow your instinct and be true to your values.